While Hurricane Irene barrels up the East Coast on her way to wreak havoc, it has come to our attention that many technophiles and younger people may be starting to become concerned, vaguely aware that life could become difficult for them over the next few days.

To help, we've prepared a kind of Hurricane Survival Guide for Techno-Addicts based on some recent questions we've been fielding, so we thought we'd share them with TMCnet readers.

Dear TMCnet: My parents tell me that if the power goes out, I won't be able to recharge my Kindle or get any new e-books. My father showed me a shelf in his office that has these dusty, rectangular, papery things on it. They're like a bundle of printed screenshots all bound together. He says they're called “books” with no “e” in front and that I can read them. Is he pulling my leg?

Thomas, Greenville, NC

Dear Thomas: Yes, but remember...turning the book sideways won't make it go from portrait to landscape mode, and be sure to wash your hands after you use the “book.” Paper poisoning is a serious concern.

TMCnet

Dear TMC (News - Alert): Before the power went out, I ordered a generator and a flat of bottled water from Amazon. But now I can't go online to check the status of my order. Can I call them on the phone and find out where my stuff is?

Chandra, Providence, Rhode Island

Dear Chandra: While there is an old legend of a man who once used a toll-free phone number to reach an Amazon call center and speak to a live person, most academics and techno-scholars today agree that this improbable story is a myth. Sorry.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: I have organized a flash mob in Grand Central Station for Monday. Thousands of people were going to show up, drop their pants and yell “Boogaloo!” at precisely 9:48 am in order to protest strip mining in Montenegro. If our cell phones aren't charged, how do we coordinate?

Susan, New York City

Dear Susan: You can try smoke signals and Aldis lamps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldis_lamp), but it may be tough to get the timing down to the last second. Good luck.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: The weekend is here, and I usually get my Saturday night dates by Bluetooth sexting random women on mass transit. I don't want to spend my Saturday night alone, but the power will probably be out by then and my phone's battery may be dead. What do I do?

Richard, Cambridge, MA

Dear Richard: The good news is that the percentage of the population that has heard the line, “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” is largely beyond the hook-up years, so this phrase, uttered in a bar, might actually work once again for the first time since March of 1973. Be sure to ask her her astrological sign, as well, and buy her a drink for good measure.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: We haven't been able to make VoIP phone calls for a day now, but I heard a rumor there are some old people on my block whose phone still works. What kind of advanced technology do they have that we don't?

Dwayne, Annapolis, MD

Dear Dwayne: Alexander Graham Bell is laughing at you right now, wherever he is. Here's what you do: knock on your neighbors' door and ask if you can use their newfangled copper-wire land line telephone. Bring a can of fruit cup or two D-cell batteries as a fair trade for the phone call.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: I'm freaking out here. Without the ability to use my cell phone, tablet, e-mail, chat, video calling, social networking, instant messaging or group conferencing, I wont' be able to talk to my boyfriend for three hours every night, like I always do, telling him all about my friends' social lives, what happened on “Jersey Shore” last night and what I bought at the mall this week. What am I going to do?

Allie, Washington, DC

Dear Allie: We don't have a solution, but we sure do hope, for your boyfriend's sake, that he manages to keep the smile off his face resulting from the several days of peace and quiet he's had next time he sees you in person.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: My World of Warcraft Guild is supposed to do battle with a rival Guild on Monday night. But they're based on the West Coast and will have power, and we won't. This isn't fair...do you know how much effort I had to go through to get my Epic Mount? So can we get the United Nations or NATO involved?

Norberto, Stamford, CT

Dear Norberto: Absolutely. But first you need to get the U.S. military to move to MMORPG Virtual DEFCON 2 or higher.

TMCnet

Dear TMCnet: I have a philosophical question. If a hurricane makes landfall in my state and I can't Tweet about it, does it still exist?

Lance, Newark, New Jersey

Dear Lance: That depends on whether you subscribe to the Aristotelian or Platonic school of thought. What we do know is that if Twitter (News - Alert) didn't exist, the self-absorbed of the world might actually find an outlet for their narcissism the rest of us couldn't avoid as easily as we can Twitter.

TMCnet

Thanks for all your questions, Techno-Philes. Remember: stay inside and safe, never leave lit candles unattended and try not to crash Facebook (News - Alert) with an overload of status changes when the power comes back on. Social networking withdrawal may be painful, but it's seldom fatal.