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November 11, 2011

The Only Thing Healthier than an Alcohol Addiction: An Addiction to a Website about Alcohol

By Juliana Kenny, TMCnet Managing Editor

Have you ever been listening to a particular musical artist and felt that poignant pang of fantasy that makes you instantly crave something akin to being like that artist, or living like that artist, or simply dressing like that artist? Most of us have. Music can instigate the most intense feelings of fantasy-driven mind-wanderings, and can influence our daily choices. Of course, it is the music itself combined with our own imaginations that creates this wonderful world of influence where we see ourselves ripping electric guitars with burning cigarettes in our pants à la Slash from Guns N Roses, or bandying down a mossy hillside, the riddling fiddles of The Chieftans in our wakes. If you need any assistance in your mental musical wanderings, you have some now, and it’s in the form of a new website called Drinkify.



You type into the only field available a musical artist, and Drinkify returns a drink suggestion for what to imbibe along with your musical selection. It even starts playing a song from said artist! Tom Waits will get you Sierra Nevada, Joni Mitchell, gin garnished with an olive, and, amusingly enough, The Weather Report gets a whole bottle of red wine.

Some results are predictable while some are befuddling. “The Lady Gaga” is 6 ounces of vodka served neat with an olive, apparently. (From what I hear, The Lady likes her whiskey.) “The Alanis Morissette” is both puzzling and disgusting: 2 ounces of rum, 2 ounces of an energy drink, and 8 ounces of moonshine… why? Obviously, Drinkify assumes you’re angsty enough to be listening to Morissette that you need everything short of a jagged little pill to quell your rage.

What would be even cooler is if users could get super specific with this. For example, if I could plug in The Beatles’ White Album, and the site would give me a drink different than if I plug in Abbey Road. Maybe that’s next…

What a party idea: get a whole bunch of different types of alcohol, play someone’s iPod list on shuffle, and input every new artist into Drinkify to then decide what the next cocktail is. Actually, that sounds more like a recipe for vomitous hangover. Nevermind.

We aren’t suggesting you take real advice from Drinkify, especially when it recommends 8 ounces of cachaça when listening to Celine Dion. (Who does Drinkify think I am? Some withered, sad, Brazilian cat lady?)

Revision: Definitely do not take advice from Drinkify, however awesome it might seem:

“THE MILES DAVIS”

  • 1 oz. Heroin

Serve neat. Stir slowly. Garnish with salt.

Mmmmmmmmmk.


Juliana Kenny graduated from the University of Connecticut with a double degree in English and French. After managing a small company for two years, she joined TMC (News - Alert) as a Web Editor for TMCnet. Juliana currently focuses on the call center and CRM industries, but she also writes about cloud telephony and network gear including softswitches.

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