When you think of your ideal Prince Charming, a few “must have” characteristics might come to mind: someone who gives reason for the adage “Chivalry is dead” to be amended; someone who is driven, passionate and charismatic; someone who is easy on the eyes; and someone who is clean and organized (because who really wants to date someone that lives in squalor or forgets that you changed your plans from Friday night to Saturday).
Well… let’s quickly backtrack and amend that statement to say “someone who is clean and organized, but not compulsively so,” because then you might find yourself with Match.com’s current buffoon. Facebook and Twitter (News - Alert) have been blowing up lately as word has been spreading like rapid fire about an incredibly meticulous finance guy who keeps track of his Match.com prospects through a pretty comprehensive (albeit extremely creepy) Excel sheet.
His spreadsheet is divided into columns that read “Other Initial Notes/Comments,” “Wink Dates,” “Dates of Message Communication,” and “Initial Data Status,” among many other columns. He also includes pictures of each woman, their age, how he met/found them, and how he rates their online appearance on a scale of 1 to 10. Specifically, his “Other Initial Notes/Comments” column includes phrases like “looks very pretty; originally from Oyster Bay,” “from Chicago; few/vague pics,” “and “looks beautiful; from coastal Romania; Chanel make-up artist.” For all my female readers out there, I certainly give you permission to start gagging right about now. His other columns are designed to clearly help this financial guy keep tabs on who he talked to when, what his last conversation was with the woman and what are his tentative plans.
In his defense, you can’t completely blame the guy for trying to not confuse Sasha with Sara or the doctor with the dancer (come on, huge mistake), but truthfully he should just try to overcome his male urges that make him only selectively listen. Because really – a spread sheet with such intimate details? A little freaky, no?
Apparently one of the guy’s suitors thought so too.
According to a recent ABC article, the guy – David Merku, a 28-year-old investment banker from New York – went on a date with Arielle, someone he described as "very pretty,” "sweet and down to earth," with "a great personality,” according to his spreadsheet. And, for some reason unbeknownst to us (perhaps something that was the result of one too many Tequila shots), the guy let it slip to Arielle that he keeps a spreadsheet of his Match.com prospects. So what did Arielle do? Ask to see the document, of course.
The fool sent it to her with this note: “Well...this could be a mistake, but what the hell. I thought about deleting the names, but figured I might as will give you the whole thing. I only deleted the non-match people's names (at the bottom) since some I've known for a long time. I hope this email doesn't backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon :). However, I will keep my word! Have a great weekend!”
The article explains that Arielle only needed a few days before forwarding the following to her friends: “Wanted to pass this on to you for some Monday morning entertainment. I went on a date with this guy last Wednesday. On the date, he tells me that he has a spreadsheet for tracking all of the people from match that are "in process". Naturally, I tease him and ask him to send me the spreadsheet. For some strange reason, he actually does. See below/attached. Just when I thought I had seen it all....”
When my friend initially brought this article to my attention, my first thought was, ‘Well, David is an idiot.’ After all, who sends a document like that to a potential suitor let alone a friend or a family member? It’s chauvinistic, creepy and crass. But the focus should actually be less on David and more on those poor girls who now have their faces plastered on the Internet (to non dating site users), with comments next to their pictures about how attractive they are and what David liked or didn’t like about them. Although many news sites have blurred out their pictures, some less reputable ones have displayed their pictures for all to see.
One of David’s suitors on the list, known as the 9.5 out of a 10 to sketchy Internet voyeurs, said it best when she told ABC when asked about Arielle and her mass email, “Why would she send it to the whole world? It was a really stupid move. My face is plastered everywhere now. I wasn't looking for that. I just thinking that I was using Match.com."
Beidaut said she is "absolutely" considering taking legal action against the woman that sent the email because she contends that her privacy has been violated.
I’ve spoken about the countless dating sites out there before, mainly to stipulate that the online dating experience has exacerbated the thought process that the “grass is always greener” and condoned cohabitation and non unions. But now, it is important to remind women to stick together on these dating sites –even if that group is the very segment of the population that you are competing against for a date.
Simply put, do not ever circulate something that could hurt or embarrass another woman who created a profile just as you did. If you are fortunate enough to have found your success story and your new boyfriend is sharing with you ridiculous messages he used to get from other suitors, do not share these with others. You are all in the same dating game and all might be fair in love and war but not when it means you could have a lawsuit on your hands.
Edited by Jamie Epstein