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Can I become a stay-at-home mom?Sep 05, 2011 (McClatchy-Tribune News Service - McClatchy-Tribune News Service via COMTEX) -- adj. pertaining to the home Commando _ noun, elite soldier Domestic Commando is the job title I created when I followed my heart and elected to be a stay-at-home mom. But "stay-at-home" was such a passive term. I believed it was completely inadequate to describe the enthusiasm I had for the job and the work I put into it. I decided Domestic Commando was just a better fit for me and for others who also felt the same way. Of course, I realize there also are Domestic Commandos-at-heart: moms (and some dads) who would love to be full-time Domestic Commandos but circumstances seem to preclude this option. But what do you do if your heart continues to call you to be at home? How can you make the switch? The key is to begin with an honest review of your personal, financial situation and to follow up with diligent planning. By knowing the hard facts of the matter, you may find it is actually possible to become a full-time Domestic Commando. Begin with a reality check of your paycheck. Don't look at your gross pay. Net pay (what you actually take home after taxes) is the amount that matters, so this is your working number. With this figure clearly identified, let's see how much money you pay out simply because you work outside the home. What does child care cost you every year? Deduct this from your take home pay. What does your work commute cost you (fuel, tolls, bus fare, etc.)? Do you have to pay to park? What are your annual work wardrobe/uniform costs? Do you also have dry cleaning costs? Don't forget lunches and lattes and tips. Other easily overlooked expenses may include union dues and office parties. Be honest about these costs. Add them all together, and this is what it costs you to work. (Please sit down for the next part, you just might become woozy). Subtract the amount it costs you to work from the amount you take home. This final figure is what you actually make by working outside the home. Now consider what you could do to reduce your expenses to compensate for the loss of your actual income. Does your income (your gross pay, in this case) put your family into a higher tax bracket? If so, you have just taken your first big step to cutting your expenses by having less deducted from your spouse's paycheck! What frills could you reduce or even eliminate from your budget? How about a less elaborate cable or satellite TV package? You can always set your thermostat a little cooler in the winter and a little warmer in the summer. It does make a difference. Do you have bottled water delivered to your house or buy packs of bottled water? You could switch to a filter system instead. Could you refinance your home at a lower interest rate or move to a less expensive apartment? Do you really need a car with all the bells and whistles, or could you sell the one you have and get a safe, reliable ... and less expensive ... car instead. You may even be able to bank any extra or pay down some credit cards. How much will you save by preparing more meals at home rather than grabbing take out on the way back from the office several nights a week? Prepare meatless meals a couple of nights a week. Use } of a pound of meat in recipes that call for a pound of meat. If you are currently pregnant and have a job but are eager to be stay home when your baby arrives, this is a good time to start weaning you and your family off of unnecessary and luxury items. Bank what you save. Every little bit gives you extra days, weeks or even months that you can be a Domestic Commando without going into debt. If you are looking to start a family down the road, even better. This is the time to learn to live on one income. Save every dime you can so that you are perfectly positioned to be a Domestic Commando when the time is right. The key question is what would it cost you to follow your heart? The answer will be different for every family. If you are the sole support for your family, staying home is likely unrealistic. Domestic Commandos are practical above all else. But we are also creative. This opens the door to other options. Being a Domestic Commandos is about being your best and doing what you feel is right for you and your family. An inspired, perhaps less "standard" plan may be the best fit. Do you have the opportunity for an evening or even night shift that would allow you more time with your child during the day? This might be a good option for the short term while your child is very young. Is part-time employment possible? Do you know another mom who can share child care and maybe even a job? Can you telecommute one or two days a week? You never know what may be possible until you explore your options. The best thing you can do is to keep an open mind. And whatever your circumstances yield, make a point to savor the joy you get from every moment you spend with your child. ___ During nap times, Toni Garcia Carpenter co-authored a book on hurricane preparedness for families, "The Hurricane Handbook." When the children started school she became a free-lance scriptwriter for lifestyle TV shows and later transitioned into work as a freelance producer/director for shows on cable networks like HGTV and DIY. Carpenter lives in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband. She loves to cook and maintains a kitchen herb garden. She is the proud mother of two children whom she considers her greatest work. See more of her work at www.DomesticCommando.com --- McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. 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