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Being balanced-4-lifeDUBAI, Sep 03, 2011 (Khaleej Times - McClatchy-Tribune Information Services via COMTEX) -- Whatever happened to a good old fashioned phone call? It seems now that texting is the best way to communicate with people and is becoming a replacement for face to face conversations. A text is informal as well as not intimate. Also, it is incredibly hard to really understand the meaning of what someone is saying without a facial expression or vocal tone to accompany it and causes misunderstandings. Married for five years, Gaurav and Sushma, residents of Dubai started depending on their Blackberry to keep in touch with each other despite living under the same roof. Gaurav said: "Just to get Sushma's attention for our dinner plans, I would have to send her a message on the Blackberry messenger. To that also I would get a response after 10 minutes." In this incessant need for technology, we are connecting with the world but aren't we losing touch with the ones we care about the most. Dr Raymond Hamden, Clinical and Forensic Psychologist and Director of the Human Relations Institute in Dubai Knowledge Village said: "Too much of anything can cause a lack of equal balance in daily life, especially time with loved ones. We take the ones who are closest to us for granted. The definition of 'being there' seems to vary. Being in the same house but not in the same room, or, even in the same room but on some communications device, is still not being there." From voice inflections to facial expressions, the digital replacement of face-to-face communication is reshaping not only communication, but also the way people interact. "There is evidence of addiction to games and work on the computer. Too much information, accessing it fast and easily makes getting away or limiting time on the device too difficult," said Dr Hamden. Most of us may not realise it, but technology has now replaced marriage and other close relationships as a major source of affirmation in our lives. Marriage and family are tough sometimes so people turn to social media for support and understanding. "Each day a person must be balanced-4-Life," said Dr Hamden. "This entails time for work, recreation, loved one and worship. When too much time is spent uncontrollably on a computer or mobile phone, for instance, there is less time in the 24 hour period for other people as well as other things to do. Usually, mistrust is not the issue although an 'affair with the computer' may be blamed. Mostly a sense of loneliness is driven by neglect, and abandonment of the relationship is noted when partners get dependent on their phones rather than on each other." Technology is building bridges between people on opposite sides of the globe, but it is also building ever stronger walls at home and counselling to combat these issues are becoming necessary. Dr Hamden explained: "Individuals attend coaching sessions to de-stress from the lack of daily balance. Many times the person is required to attend psychological intervention to avoid the consequences of relationship breakup. A lonely partner may initiate the psychological treatment for relationship discord and the individual's suspected addiction. Psychological intervention is best sought by the individual along with the partner and the family. It's a family affair to address the need for loving support. No medication, no hospitalisation; just psychological coaching with evidence-based strategies will help to get the best solution long term." Jeni Heyburn, a student said: "Hiding behind emails and texts is easier for me. I feel technology gives something and takes something away. I update my Twitter and Facebook atleast four times a day." Technology was meant to make lives easier instead of more complicated. For relationships, it has had a very detrimental effect. To save ourselves from trouble, we all should take a few minutes, turn off the computer and the smartphones and be there more for the important people in our lives. [email protected] EFFECTS OF DEPENDENCY Dr Hamden lists out the traits of Internet addiction among teens. I... Lack of social interaction I... Using the computer for pleasure, gratification, or relief from stress I... Feeling irritable and out of control or depressed when not using it I... Spending increasing amounts of time and money on hardware, software, magazines, and computer-related activities I... Neglecting work, school, or family obligations I... Lying about the amount of time spent on computer activities I... Risking loss of career goals, educational objectives, and personal relationships CYBER BULLYING With new technologies providing new platforms for bullies to follow kids from the playground to their computers and even phones, Norton by Symantec looks at the figures that raise the need for parents to help, protect and take action whether their child be the bully, victim or witness to an incident as this new reality faces more and more children. In February, Norton polled a random sample of 1,068 parents who have a child between the ages of eight and 18, exploring parents' opinions about family internet security and polled them about their kids' experiences with cyberbullying and general internet usage. With children surfing the net more frequently, parents revealed that social media was the most common medium for children to become victimised. "Bullying is often viewed as 'just part of growing up' yet cyberbullying adds a new dimension to the problem and is a fallout from the web that today's parents never saw coming. Cyberbullying is a growing issue that many kids are facing. While it is common for bullying cases to go unreported, whether small or big the emotional impact is still there and the fact remains that parents are still unaware of the extent of the dangers that their children are facing online," said Mariam Meritt , Norton's Top Security Advocate. ___ (c)2011 the Khaleej Times (Dubai, United Arab Emirates) Visit the Khaleej Times (Dubai, United Arab Emirates) at www.khaleejtimes.com Distributed by MCT Information Services |