[July 22, 2011] The McDowell News, Marion, N.C., Scott Hollifield column Tweet Jul 21, 2011 (The McDowell News - McClatchy-Tribune Information Services via COMTEX) -- Phone hacking. I've heard that two-word combination from TV talking heads almost as much as "debt ceiling," a phrase that makes me look up at the cracks above my living room and think, "If I wasn't in debt, I could fix that ceiling." As a journalist, I am ashamed to admit I can't hack a phone. Apparently, all other journalists can. When this became public knowledge, it caused a stir, especially across the pond. The Brits were shocked -- shocked, I say -- to learn journalists from the Rupert Murdoch-owned News of the World, a publication of nearly 170 years, were allegedly hacking into the phones of private citizens, celebrities and elected officials to land big scoops. How long had this been going? Did a reporter burst into an editor's office in 1907 and exclaim in a stereotypical Cockney accent, "I've hacked the telegraph machine, I have, and it appears Nobel Prize-winning author Rudyard Kipling will trim his mustache tomorrow, guv'nor." And did all British reporters in 1907 refer to their editors as guv'nor? These are valid questions that I can't answer because I can't hack into anyone's phone to find out. Why is that? All I can figure is that I continuously missed phone-hack training 1988. "Let's gather in the conference room. Today in our meeting we're going over the ins and outs of these increasingly popular cordless phones and how to hack them to land big scoops. Where's that new kid? Hollifield, is it?" "He's on vacation, chief. Before he left he got his mullet permed and promised to bring back a cool neon "Party Naked Myrtle Beach" T-shirt for everybody in the newsroom." "Fine. We'll catch him up when he gets back." But they didn't. 1998. "Let's gather in the conference room. Today on our conference call, we're going over the ins and outs of these increasingly popular and sophisticated cell phones and how to hack them to land big scoops. Where's that guy that's still here? Hollifield, is it?" "He's on vacation, chief. Before he left, he grew some grunge-band facial hair and promised to bring back an ironic neon "Party Naked Myrtle Beach" T-shirt for everybody in the newsroom." "Fine. We'll catch him up when he gets back." But they didn't. 2008. "Let's gather in the conference room. Today on our Webinar, we are going over the ins and outs of these increasingly popular, sophisticated and powerful smart phones and how to hack them to land big scoops. Where's that guy we can't get rid of? Hollifield, is it?" "He's on vacation, chief. Before he left, he asked HR if the insurance plan still covered Botox and testosterone injections and he promised to bring back a vintage neon "Party Naked Myrtle Beach" Tt-shirt for the few of us who are still in the newsroom." "Fine. We'll catch him up when he gets back." But they didn't. Had I been armed with the phone-hacking knowledge that every other journalist has, think of the small-town, big-time scoops I could have landed. "EXTRA! EXTRA! WIFE DEMANDS MAYOR BRING HOME MILK" "SHOCKING -- YOUNG SWEETHEARTS DEBATE WHO WILL HANG UP FIRST" "REV. MARTIN'S SERMONS DRY AS DUST" Opie Taylor actually beat me to that last one when he published the Mayberry Sun in the 1965 "Andy Griffith Show" episode "Opie's Newspaper." The young scamp hacked Sarah's switchboard. Had I known how to hack phones years ago, I would have been on my way to bigger and better things, maybe even a desk at News of the World. Then unemployment and a possible prison term. Maybe looking up at the cracks above my living room and thinking, "If I wasn't in debt, I could fix that ceiling" isn't so bad after all. Scott Hollifield is editor/GM of The McDowell News in Marion, NC and a columnist for the Media General News Service. Contact him at PO Box 610, Marion, NC 28752 or e-mail [email protected]. To see more of The McDowell News or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.mcdowellnews.com. Copyright (c) 2011, The McDowell News, Marion, N.C. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For more information about the content services offered by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services (MCT), visit www.mctinfoservices.com. [ Back To TMCnet.com's Homepage ]