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U. Central Florida: Searching the best, and worst, in video games(U-Wire Via Acquire Media NewsEdge) UWIRE-01/16/2009-U. Central Florida: Searching the best, and worst, in video games (C) 2008 Central Florida Future via UWIRE By Kris Kelly, Central Florida Future (U. Central Florida) OVIEDO, Fla. -- So, as you may have noticed, faithful reader, we here at the Central Florida Future had a whole "Best of 2008" theme going on last week. The Best of Videogames for 2008, which you are currently reading, didn't show up in that issue because I had to spend a lot of time researching and looking over the games of the past year and weighing their merits. Then, as all stiflingly serious and self-important reviewers must do, I had to question the merits of a "Best" list and, on top of that, consider my sociopolitical context. Sure, Fallout 3 might be an amazing game in America, but how would it be reacted to in, say, Cambodia? Swaziland? Okeechobee? Through a careful and meticulous process, I made sure to distill and purify my findings, freeing them of all biases. Therefore, I present: The Worst of the Best of the Worst in Video Games for 2008: First up, the award for "Best Bowling with your Cousin Simulator" goes to Grand Theft Auto IV. While GTA4 managed to fetch the approving eye of critics and the accolades of gamers everywhere thanks to its moving story, rich characters, astounding visuals and the ability to ramp an ice cream truck off the highway and slam through a SWAT barricade, I think we can all agree that the most immersing moment of the game was waiting for that fateful call from Roman Bellic inviting his cousin Niko to go bowling or grab a bite to eat. I don't know about you, dear reader, but the psychological and emotional release I experienced as I declared "Yes, Roman, I will go bowling with you," was downright transcendental. Like Usain Bolt in the 100 meters, I crossed the finish line into nirvana, triumphant, and then I started lapping it. Second up, the award for "Best Half-Good/Half-Bad Game" goes to Devil May Cry 4. Honestly, I can't really explain what Capcom was thinking with this one. Here we have Dante, the fast-talkin' white-haired half-demon devil-hunter protagonist of the series. This is a guy who once wielded a guitar made out of a naked vampire chick that shot this paragon of coolness, decides that it needs to introduce a new hero to the series. So in Devil May Cry 4 we meet Nero, a fast-talkin' white-haired half-demon devil-hunter who, uh, is exactly like Dante, except he's whiny. So, half the time you play as a cocky white-haired guy and the other half you play as a whiny white-haired guy. Third to bat, the award for "Best Game That Plays Itself" goes to Metal Gear Solid 4, which had all the interactivity of a DVD menu and taught us that nanomachines are behind every thing, from all paranormal happenings to running every facet of the United States government. It should be noted that the award for "Best Game with Solid Snake in it", the hero of the Metal Gear series, has been awarded to Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Lastly, the award for "Most Awesome Male Protagonist Who Looks Like a Girl" goes to Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia. Bottom Line: Yuri chases an enemy soldier into quicksand and then watches him drown to death. He also owns a dog that smokes a pipe. And, what the heck, I'm gonna give "Game of the Year" to No More Heroes because it had lightsabers and a coconut-gathering minigame. What more could you want? ##30## ((Distributed on bahalf of U-Wire via M2 Communications Ltd - http://www.m2.com)) ((U-Wire - http://www.uwire.com)) Copyright ? 2009 U-Wire |