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CURRENT SHOWINGS(Cineman Syndicate Via Thomson Dialog NewsEdge) Oct 16, 2006 (Cineman Syndicate via COMTEX) --THE DEPARTED Martin Scorsese plumbs the souls of two Irish cops in a retooling of the Hong Kong crime thriller "Infernal Affairs." One officer (Matt Damon) is a mole for a South Boston mobster (Jack Nicholson); the second (DiCaprio) goes undercover inside the colorful felon's operation. DiCaprio comes out on top acting-wise, which is quite an achievement given Nicholson's unfettered performance. And while Scorsese seems to be outside his comfort zone inside police precincts and in the Beantown milieu, he creates an appropriately fatalistic and labyrinthine movie. Setting aside right-and-wrong, you're bound to conclude crime and crime-fighting are both games for suckers. (R) GOOD CRIME DRAMA Dir-Martin Scorsese Lead-Leonardo DiCaprio RT-149 mins. EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH Jessica Simpson's physical assets remain the most pleasant aspect of this moronic comedy, which involves the competition--set in a Costco-style wholesaler--between a slacker box boy (Cook) and a perennial store superstar (Dax Sheppard) for both the titular honor and a cashier's affection. Aimed directly at college kids tickled by midgets and fart jokes, the film offers up dull stereotypes, weak pop culture references, and drama that's clichd to the point of embarrassment. And while it goes without saying that such a lowest-common-denominator project boasts homophobic and racist jokes, the amount of blatant intolerance displayed is nonetheless stunning. (PG-13) POOR COMEDY Dir-Greg Coolidge Lead-Dane Cook RT-100 mins. FLYBOYS On the ground, this recounting of the birth of WWI fighter pilots resembles every other ham-fisted tale of historically significant heroism that's come down the cinematic pipe. Baby-faced soldiers with something to prove to their girlfriend, father and commanding officer risk life and limb on scarred battlefields, here recreated using the finest digital effects available. Bland James Franco leads the nondescript squad, juggling a French love interest (Jennifer Decker), a burned-out Yankee rival (Martin Henderson), and a no-nonsense captain (Jean Reno). "Flyboys" improves once in the air, as model planes rocket through dizzying aeronautic sequences that take viewers to the edge. (PG-13) FAIR ACTION Dir-Tony Bill Lead-James Franco RT-140 mins. GRIDIRON GANG Most sports movies are too clich because sports are too clich. We expect the underdog to win on the last play of the game. Can we look beyond the genre's conventional storytelling crutches and find something else that will motivate? This fact-based movie comes pretty close. The Rock plays a juvenile correctional facilities counselor who uses football as a means to unite his divided charges. In football terms, "Gridiron Gang" isn't a flashy wide receiver or star quarterback; it's the stocky, reliable running back that drops his shoulder and picks up tough yards. That makes it part of a winning team. (PG-13) GOOD DRAMA Dir-Phil Joanou Lead-Dwayne Johnson RT-120 mins. THE GUARDIAN Bloated like a corpse, and yet it sinks like a stone in saltwater! A few moments of gripping rescue-at-sea action aside, this long, earnest flick about a haunted Coast Guard rescue swimmer (Costner) and the hotshot young recruit who reminds him of himself does a lazy breaststroke through sentimental clich and melodramatic slo-mo. That's when it isn?t baldly depicting swimmer training. It's a Coast Guard recruitment film book-ended by soap opera that wants to be taken way more seriously than the casting of the bland, robotic Ashton Kutcher (as the hotshot) would indicate. Your best course of action: let it sink. (PG-13) BORING ACTION-DRAMA Dir-Andrew Davis Lead-Kevin Costner RT-139 mins. THE ILLUSIONIST Despite a transparent outcome, this elegant period yarn has much to recommend it--including occult mystery, palpable romance, fine acting and a Philip Glass score. Set in fin-de-siecle Vienna, it's about a magician (Edward Norton) in love with a countess (Jessica Biel) engaged to the crown prince (Rufus Sewell). The always-impressive Paul Giamatti portrays the police inspector charged with debunking the conjurer and his relatable character takes over the film. The plot, from a short story by Steven Millhauser, gains political currency by pitting two talented proletariats against a vainglorious aristocrat. Not all its promise materializes, but there's plenty to intrigue. (PG-13) GOOD DRAMA Dir-Neil Burger Lead-Edward Norton RT-109 mins. JACKASS NUMBER TWO This second compilation of disgusting masochistic stunts perpetrated by Johnny Knoxville and company is not for the squeamish or anyone with remotely delicate sensibilities. Then again, neither were the Three Stooges. Letting an entertainment take you to the very edge of slapstick and make-believe pain is one thing, jumping into the abyss and wallowing in the hurt and various unmentionable substances is quite another. Sadomasochism in the name of comedy, or comedy in the name of sadomasochism, has a long history and, for better and worse, will survive. Let's hope viewers who try recreating anything they've seen here do also. (R) FAIR COMEDY Dir-Jeff Tremaine Lead-Johnny Knoxville RT-92 mins. JET LI'S FEARLESS If this is, as advertised, Li's final martial arts extravaganza, he picked a heck of a way to go out. Portraying real-life martial arts expert Huo Yuan Jia, who became a hero to the people of turn-of-the-century China, Li does some of the most elaborate stunt-work of his career. Realizing the audience is there to watch him kick butt, director Yu wastes little time getting to the action. Fists fly early and often. The standout sequences are a fight atop a ridiculously tall platform and a ten-minute brawl with an equally skilled kung-fu master that literally brings the house down. (PG-13) GOOD ACTION Dir-Ronny Yu Lead-Jet Li RT-104 mins. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE This tart, anarchic comedy took Sundance by storm and should bowl over audiences this summer. Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette head a severely dysfunctional family that bands together to fulfill daughter Olive?s dream of competing in a beauty pageant. Alan Arkin is her druggie grandfather, Steve Carell plays her gay uncle--a suicidal Proust scholar--and Paul Dano portrays her silent, Nietzsche-loving brother. Their road trip in a Volkswagen van features ample misadventure, shrill repartee and accordion music. "Let Olive be Olive" and let "Little Miss Sunshine" be as cantankerous and cute as it wants to be. (R) GOOD COMEDY Dirs-Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris Lead-Abigail Breslin RT-102 mins. OPEN SEASON Should animated children's movies glamorize criminal activity and war? That's exactly what happens in "Open Season" when Boog (a domesticated grizzly bear) rescues, Elliot, a miscreant mule deer from a deranged hunter. Elliot persuades Boog to abandon the comfy abode he shares with his keeper, Park Ranger Beth, so the two can heist candy bars from a convenience store. After ransacking the store in a fit of inexplicable violence, the pair is relocated to the forest three days before hunting season begins. They then convince their woodland neighbors to take up arms against the hunters. Whoopee! (PG) BORING ANIMATION Dirs-Roger Allers, Jill Culton & Anthony Stacchi Lead-Martin Lawrence RT-100 mins. SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS "Old School" director Phillips' latest foray into education-themed comedy has a super-loser (Jon Heder) enrolling in a secret class for social misfits run by Dr. P (Thornton), who aims to transform his dorky students into manly men through disparagement, humiliation and other assorted underhanded tactics. It's a premise with next to no payoff, since the characters are just one-trait punchlines for limp gags, unimaginative scenarios and multiple crotch shots. Asked only to regurgitate prior performances, Heder channels "Napoleon Dynamite" while Thornton berates people with "Bad Santa" nastiness. The proceedings remaining as inert as Thornton's waxy new surgically enhanced face. (PG-13) BORING COMEDY Dir-Todd Phillips Lead-Billy Bob Thornton RT-100 mins. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING If you like your gore delivered straight up, no chaser this prequel to the 2003 remake of the 1976 splatter fest offers plenty of blood for your buck. Once again, four nubile road-tripping teenagers have a bad accident that lands them in the hands of the deranged Hewitt clan, led by Sheriff Hoyt and his adopted son Leatherface. As the title implies, we learn the back-story, including the killer's real name and how he acquired his chainsaw. The production values are solid and the cast competent, but there's no wit or suspense, just an unending supply of sadism. (R) BORING HORROR Dir-Jonathan Liebesman Lead-Jordana Brewster RT-84 mins. COPYRIGHT 2006 BY CINEMAN SYNDICATE LLC CINEMAN SYNDICATE VIA COMTEX Copyright 2006 Comtex News Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. |