It certainly is a promising title to a white paper: "How to Tell Anybody Anything." We could have used that at certain life junctures.

Produced by customer support software provider Parature, the white paper looks at "fresh new approach to coaching service professionals that is based on recent developments in the psychology of how we communicate with each other," an approach described as "a painless, blame-free approach that has a track record of creating real performance and behavior change."

As Richard Gallagher, noted communications skills expert and author of the book "How to Tell Anyone Anything: Breakthrough Techniques for Handling Difficult Conversations at Work," notes, 'I am a former help desk manager myself, and implementing a strength-based approach to coaching was the key to creating near-perfect customer satisfaction ratings on my own team -- and more important, near-zero turnover.'

A quick overview of the white paper's main points:

1. Start the discussion in a safe place: The most important moment in coaching doesn't even involve the other person -- it involves you, and that knot in the pit of your stomach before you go in to talk with him or her.

2. Be curious, not furious: Most coaching dialogues have one thing in common: you usually want to tell (or, more charitably, teach) someone how to do their job better. But often the most important part of the dialogue isn't what you tell the other person, but rather what you ask them.

When police officers respond in a crisis situation, they often calmly ask lots of questions. They are trained to do this for two important reasons: first, it gives them information to help solve the problem and second, it puts you in a posture of learning how the other person is thinking -- a stance that, in turn, makes this person less defensive.

3. Acknowledgement versus agreement: So what happens when you start a discussion in a safe place, and ask good questions? Sometimes it leads to productive dialogue. And sometimes, it leads to a litany of excuses and defenses. And believe it or not, that is often a very good thing. Why? Because it gives you an opportunity to acknowledge whatever they are saying, and then start focusing on a solution.

4. Getting the issue on the table: Just the facts. When your favorite sports team loses an important game, how do you and your friends describe it? Probably in very emotional terms: 'They choked.' 'They are a bunch of losers.' 'They can't close the deal.' This is not how you want to handle it in a call center.

To download a free copy of this informative white paper, click here.