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Americans 'heart' dating websites -- but not the scammers [Detroit Free Press]
[November 03, 2014]

Americans 'heart' dating websites -- but not the scammers [Detroit Free Press]


(Detroit Free Press (MI) Via Acquire Media NewsEdge) Nov. 03--Your eyes bulge with hearts like a cartoon. The attention is intoxicating. Sure, some things seem too good to be true, but it's part of the fairytale beginning.

Time goes by and you begin to think -- "Is this everything I signed up for?" But if you have cold feet, you might not be able to break away as easily as you thought. Such are the entanglements of the heart -- and of dating Web sites.



Millions of Americans have turned to the Internet to find love on dating web sites, now a $2.1-billion industry, according to the research company IBIS World. But sometimes the frog that fails to turn into the prince is the dot.com itself.

"Any time you have millions of members, you're going to have some level of complaints," said Ryan Frankel, the chief technology officer of DatingAdvice.com's parent company. "The online dating industry is so young, there's no trusted sites. There's no FDIC." The Better Business Bureau collected 3,294 complaints nationally about online dating sites in the past year, ending Sept. 30 -- a 40% increase in the last three years. Of those, 70 were from eastern Michigan and the Upper Peninsula.


To be sure, more people are on dating websites, so it's no surprise that complaints are increasing. Last year, the Pew Research Center found that one out of every 10 Americans reported using an online dating site or mobile dating app. Even so, shopping for love requires some due diligence on the financial front.

"There are a lot of people for whom online dating continues to be a very valuable thing," explained Paul Oyer, a Stanford University economics professor and author of the book "Everything I Ever Needed to Know about Economics I Learned from Online Dating." "I think you need to do your research. ... Buyer beware -- in online dating and other businesses. If the alternative is to go to a singles bar, I don't see that as a really big step in the right direction." Complaints about high-pressure sales tactics, illegal auto-renewals, bogus profiles of attractive singles to reel you in, nearly impossible cancellation procedures, leaked personal information are among complaints often lodged. Some have even morphed into lawsuits.

On Thursday, the Federal Trade Commission reached an agreement with JDI Dating that the Britain-based network of online dating sites, such as cupidswand.com, flirtcrowd.com and findmelove.com, would stop using fake, computer-generated profiles to lure users into upgrading their memberships from free to paid. The company, which also hit them with monthly fees without consent, is paying more than $616,000 in damages to thousands of customers.

JDI Dating could not be reached immediately for comment.

Few people were willing to discuss their dating website experiences -- and how they might have been duped -- with the Free Press.

Sandi Campbell of Sterling Heights said she got caught in the PlentyOfFish.com net. About six months ago, the 51-year-old comedy writer, lawyer and percussionist, who was separated from her husband, joined the site. After she checked the box that said it was OK to give out her phone number, she soon was getting 200 calls.

"I went on, but didn't like the type of responses I was getting," she said. "I tried to shut my profile. I couldn't do it. I kept getting calls. I had to get rid of my phone. ... I'd never go on a dating site in my life again, I'd rather be on Facebook and get dates. I fired off (an e-mail) and said, 'Please get me off this bloody site' and no response. None." PlentyOfFish.com declined to comment.

Oyer said complaints are only natural. People go in with certain expectations, like any other business, and sometimes, those expectations aren't met. He even views the increase in complaints "as a good sign for the industry," because it means more people are using online dating sites.

"As the business matures, companies doing well in particular have more of an incentive not to skirt ethical lines. Their reputation being bigger, they have more at stake," said Oyer, who's had success using online dating. "Having said that, online dating is extremely competitive and hard to make money in anymore, so as a result the desperation to do things that will lead to profits, even if they lead to dissatisfaction." The BBB has received 69 complaints about PlentyOfFish.com over the last year. In contrast, Match.com had 800, eHarmony 383 and OKCupid 41.

Match.com is the largest online dating site in the world.

Experts, such as Frankel and the Michigan Attorney General's Office, suggest singles investigate the names of dating websites they're considering joining to find out what their success rate and customer service reputation are, consider starting with larger sites which usually have been in business for longer, double-check that the financial payment page is secure, review the privacy policies and read the terms of agreement section closely before you sign up.

"In this, like any other situation where you're spending your money, you want to make sure the site isn't going to be fraudulent, that they're not going to be one that doesn't meet your expectations for what you're looking for," said BBB spokeswoman Lisa Dilg.

Contact Zlati Meyer: 313-223-4439 or [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @ZlatiMeyer How to avoid getting scammed by online dating sites --Do online research and ask friends about online dating Web sites -- both the biggies and the niche ones. Find out about the site's success rates. See how many complaints have been filed with the Better Business Bureau and the attorney general's office.

--Opt for a site that's at least three years old.

--If you chose a smaller site focused on a particular community, such as Star Trek fans, inquire of people active in the community about the site's reputation.

--Make sure that the site's payment page is secure. The URL should include an S -- https.

--Review the site's privacy policy.

--Don't succumb to high-pressure sales tactics.

--Test the site's customer service by sending an e-mail and seeing how long it takes to get a reply -- and how good a response it is.

--Understand the site's membership cancellation policy, paying close attention to how auto-renewal works.

--If you sign up for a free trial membership, be clear about whether that will roll over into a paid membership.

--Read the Terms of Agreement before checking "I agree," so you know what you're getting into.

--Create a special e-mail address to link to your online dating profile, not one you use for other things. It should not include any personal information.

Source: Free Press research ___ (c)2014 the Detroit Free Press Visit the Detroit Free Press at www.freep.com Distributed by MCT Information Services

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