[April 10, 2008]

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Eugene Kane column: Mothers try, then cry, when kids do wrong

(Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, The (KRT) Via Thomson Dialog NewsEdge) Apr. 10--A mother's love can go only so far. It's time some young people in Milwaukee started to realize that.

Lisa is a hardworking African-American mother who wanted only the best for her 16-year-old son. Consequently, she gave him whatever he wanted, including the latest high-tech toys.

"You look in his room, he's got cable TV, DVR, DVD, PlayStation . . . everything," Lisa told me.

Living on the north side of Milwaukee, Lisa knew her son was surrounded by temptation, including friends who constantly tried to talk him into doing things outside the law. Consequently, she kept in regular phone contact with him even when she was working at her security job.

Her boyfriend of 20 years -- her son's father -- also remained in the boy's life as a guiding force.

Lisa saw her son as a good boy who wanted for nothing but was susceptible to peer pressure. That's why she tried to get him transferred from North Division High School, where she felt many of his friends were bad influences.

"I told him, 'You have to pick a better class of friends,' " she said. "I knew those boys would only get him into trouble."

It turned out Lisa's son and another teenager were arrested after a string of robberies on the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee campus last month. They were charged with taking cell phones and wallets from victims at gunpoint, as part of a rash of armed robberies on Milwaukee campuses.

For Lisa, it was a mother's worst nightmare.

"All you hear about on the news is about bad kids and their bad parents," she told me. "I don't want people to think my son is just a thug or a gangster."

Lisa knows most people will see her son as just another example of lawless black youth in Milwaukee destroying the quality of life for hardworking residents. (She and her son are not identified because he is a minor.) She hated the idea of her son lumped in with those kind of people because she didn't believe it was his true character.

"He deserves to pay for what he did," she said. "But he isn't a bad kid; he just fell in with the wrong crowd."

She had talked to her son on the night of the robberies; he promised to be home by a 10 p.m. curfew. When she learned of his arrest, she was flabbergasted. What made things worse was that police said the gun used in the robberies was taken from her home.

(I asked Lisa if the gun she kept in her home was legal. "I bought it at Wal-Mart!" she answered.)

Since her son's arrest, she hasn't been sleeping or eating well.

"He doesn't need anything. I give that boy everything he wants. He's got two parents who are together. It just doesn't make sense."

Her son faces serious charges, but she can find at least some solace in the fact he didn't hurt or kill anybody. He probably isn't facing a lifetime behind bars, but that doesn't negate his role in a senseless crime spree that put others in danger. It also doesn't explain why a kid who gets everything he wants decides to stick up people for kicks.

It's a tale I've heard time and time again in Milwaukee; when young people -- usually young black men -- make bad decisions, their mothers are usually the only ones left standing up for them. By then, it's too late.

A mother's love might be a precious thing, but it doesn't wipe the slate clean.

Contact Eugene Kane at (414) 223-5521 or ekane@journalsentinel.com

To see more of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.jsonline.com.

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