Okay, let’s all be honest here. Cops hate getting speeding tickets, hunters probably wouldn’t enjoy having the deer rifle in Bambi’s hands, and IVR pros really don’t like getting telemarketing calls during dinner any more than anybody else does.

“I hate telemarketers,” writes Angel’s Mike Ahnemann. “I don’t want what they are trying to sell me. Ever. I hate their robot dialer that calls me first to see if someone will answer before transferring me to a person standing by to sell me something... I hate it all so much that whenever there are a couple of seconds of silence after I say ‘Hello,’ I’ve always hung up, especially when the caller ID says ‘Unknown’ or ‘Blocked’.”

But one day he got an IVR call with his local garbage company on the Caller ID, and listened out of sheer curiosity. Turns out the company wanted him to know that because of the holiday next week, his trash would be picked up on Wednesday. Then they added, “If you no longer want to receive reminders like this one, press 9 to be taken off our list. Thank you and goodbye.”

Wow -- useful IVR. Who knew?

IVR can also be used to remind people about prescriptions to be picked up, “update them about changes to their flight status, remind them of a dentist appointment, or confirm a service appointment for their car,” he writes, adding that some opt-in outbound campaigns help people learn to make exercise part of their normal routine or quit smoking.

Ahnemann offers five tips on creating automated outbound applications people won’t automatically hate you for:

Ask yourself, “Is this a phone call I’d be happy or annoyed to receive?” Reject the annoying ideas.

Sweat the small stuff. Giving an option to opt out of future messages is good. If you’re calling to speak with someone specific, make sure you get the right person on the phone or give whoever answers time to take a message.

Get good technology. Make sure the vendor you work with can detect whether there’s a voicemail system answering vs. a real person so you can leave a message on someone’s answering machine when appropriate.

Keep it short. Get to the point quickly. Outbound calls are tricky – people are predisposed to hang up on an automated system, so you have a short time to make an impression.

Make it sound good: Choose a voice that’s suitable for the type of call you’re making, and coach that talent to clearly convey the meaning of the text.